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12.31.2002: President Opposes Rep. Charles Rangel's Proposal to Weaken the Military by Reinstating the White Ivy League Draft
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12.29.2002: President Bush Demonstrates Republican Inclusiveness in Year-End Outreach to Select Dissenters
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12.25.2002: The President & Mrs. Bush's Remarks Wishing a Very Merry Christmas to All the World's Hell-Bound Non-Believers
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12.23.2002: President Bush's Official 2002 Message to Colored Americans Celebrating That Kwanzaa Thing
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12.20.2002: President Bush and Senator Frist's Statement on the Unfortunately Necessary Political Lynching of Trent Lott
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12.19.2002: Citing Bioterror Threat, President Bush Urges All African Americans to Enroll in Tuskegee Smallpox Experiment
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12.17.2002: Complete Transcript of Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott's Appearance on Black Entertainment Television
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12.16.2002: President Bush Applauds Al Gore's Decision to Let Some Other Baby-Killing Sissy Eat Major Shit Sandwich in 2004
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12.15.2002: Transcript of Late Night Telephone Conversation Between President Bush & North Korean Leader Kim Jong Il
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12.13.2002: President Bush Releases List of Faith-Based Charities Qualifying for Multibillion Dollar Taxpayer Funding
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12.11.2002: 2002 CHILDREN'S STORY HOUR: Senator Lott & President Bush Read Aloud From Shaniqua: The Little Negress That Couldn't
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12.08.2002: President Bush Presides Over Ceremonial Lighting of Official White House Outdoor Nativity Scene
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12.06.2002: President Bush's Statement on the Wholly Voluntary Resignation of Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill
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12.05.2002: Remarks by President Bush to Attendees of Retiring Senator Strom Thurmond's 100th Birthday Party
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12.03.2002: President Bush Kicks Off National Drunk and Drugged Driving Prevention Month With Candid After-Hours Remarks
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11.29.2002: Statement by the President Announcing the Appointment of Comeback Kid Henry Kissinger to Oversee 9/11 Cover-Up
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11.27.2002: Text of the President's Thanksgiving Proclamation on the Inherent Anti-Americanism of Vegetarians
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11.26.2002: President Bush Announces Details of His New Ten-Point Plan to Save the Homeland's Environment from the EPA
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11.23.2002: President Bush Offers Friendly Tips on Political Discourse to Listeners of the Rush Limbaugh Show
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11.21.2002: A Very Special Peek Inside First Lady Mrs. George W. Bush's Holiday Recipe Box
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11.20.2002: President Bush Hails Passage of Homeland Security Department Legislation from the Backward Nation Of Prague
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11.17.2002: Formal Statement by President Bush Warmly Welcoming House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi to the Capitol Hill Boys Club
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11.14.2002: President Bush Proudly Releases Sightseeing Checklist for Drivers of the Yellowstone National Park Circumferential Snowmobile Expressway
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11.12.2002: President Bush Offers Warm Bipartisan Assurances to Senator Judas Jeffords on the Occasion of His State's Complete Disenfranchisement
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11.11.2002: The Official GOP Survey: Help President Bush & America's Newly Righteous Congress Prioritize the 2003 Legislative Agenda
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11.08.2002: Acknowledging Commencement of "Ramadan," President Bush Delivers Remarks to Attendees of the 2002 White House Iftaar Dinner
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11.06.2002: Complete Text of President Bush's Champagne Victory Toast at the GOP Midterm Elections Morning-After Celebration Breakfast
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11.05.2002: In Brave Display of Bipartisan Bonhomie, President Bush Offers Election Day Best Wishes to Prominent Democrats
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11.04.2002: President Bush Urges All Americans to Download & Disseminate the Official 2002 Nonpartisan Voting Guide
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11.01.2002: President Bush Proudly Unveils Agressive New Federal Protections for Human Embryos and Used Condoms
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10.30.2002: An Intimate Glimpse Behind the Scenes at the White House's Sizzling 2002 GOP Halloween Drag Ball & Fund-Raiser
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10.29.2002: President Bush Expresses Heartfelt Non-Political Sadness Over the Passing of Leftist Minnesota Senator Paul Wellstone
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10.27.2002: Joint Statement by Presidents Bush and Heston Declaring America Safe Again for Recreational Assault Weapon Strafing
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10.23.2002: White House Web Site Banned by America-Hating Missouri Public School Liberals! President Bush: "This Isn't the Type of Censorship I Condone!"
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10.21.2002: SEC Chairman Harvey Pitt and Vice President Cheney Release Revised White House Code of Corporate Ethics and Responsibility
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10.17.2002: Mrs. Bush Offers Tips to Parents for Talking to Children About Stuff Like Terrorists, Snipers, and What to Pack for Jail
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10.16.2002: President Bush Clarifies His Administration's Position on Ballistic Fingerprinting of High-Powered Sniper Rifles
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10.14.2002: Remarks by President Bush to the People of Northern Ireland Regarding Britain's Suspension of Their Self-Governance
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10.11.2002: A Formal Statement of Congratulations to James Earl Carter on the Occasion of His Canonization by Liberal Norwegian Hippies
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10.10.2002: President Bush and Miss America Erika Harold Urge Today's Teens to Just Say "NO" to Premarital Double Penetration
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10.09.2002: President Bush to Florida Governor Jeb Bush: Good Luck, and Have Fun Wasting that Psychotic White Trash Lezbo Hooker
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10.07.2002: President Offers Warm Endorsement to Innovative Program for Refining and Improving the First Amendment
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10.03.2002: President Bush Delivers a Heartfelt Prayer of Hope for Victims of the 2002 Hurricane Season
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10.01.2002: Newly Discovered Confidential Memorandum Reveals Secret America-Hating Agenda of the Democratic Party
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09.30.2002: Remarks by President Bush to Nancy Reagan on the Occasion of Her Transformation into a Bloodthirsty Fetus Murderer
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09.26.2002: Traitors on Parade: The White House Responds to Anti-War Statements of Prominent Democrats
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09.25.2002: President Bush's 100% Foolproof National Security Strategy, As Presented to “The Boys In Lubbock”
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09.24.2002: First Lady to Children of Sesame Street: Jesus Christ Can and Must Kill This AIDS Muppet
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09.22.2002: Remarks by President Bush to the People of Germany Regarding the Outcome of Their Parliamentary Elections
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09.18.2002: President Releases Top-Secret Iraqi Documents Justifying the Immediate Toppling of Saddam Hussein
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09.14.2002: The President's Iraq Ultimatum, As Delivered to the United Nations General Assembly
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09.12.2002: Complete Transcript of President Bush's Candid, No Holds-Barred Interview With "60 Minutes II"
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09.11.2002: Remembering 9/11: An Intimate Glimpse at President & Mrs. Bush's Strategy for Commemoration
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09.10.2002: Transcript of President Bush's "Primary Super Tuesday" Radio Address to the American People
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09.06.2002: President Dismisses Rumors of Policy Friction Between Himself & Secretary of State Colin Powell
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09.04.2002: Aspiring Lesbian Cosmonaut Joins President Bush to Decry Rampant Discrimination Within Russian Space Agency
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09.03.2002: U.S. Department of Faith Issues Biblical Back to School Tips for True Christian® Students
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09.01.2002: President Bush's Labor Day Address to Collected Members of the Korean Deli & Fruit Stand Owners Association
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08.29.2002: Transcript of President Bush's Crawford Summit With Saudi Arabian Ambassador Prince Bandar Bin Sultan
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08.28.2002: Vice President Cheney Details Diabolical Iraqi Schemes Necessitating the Wholesale Invasion of the Arabiac World
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08.25.2002: Memo From Attorney General Ashcroft to the News Media Concerning National Security Order No. 1-545-7b
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08.22.2002: President Offers Reassurances to Civil Libertarians Over Alien Fingerprinting Initiative
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08.20.2002: President Bush Defends Ann Coulter From Slanderous Liberal Allegations of Transsexuality
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08.17.2002: President's Remarks Expressing Profound Debt of Gratitude to "Pioneer Club" Fundraising Partners
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08.13.2002: President Bush Muses Candidly on the Five Non-Illusory Accomplishments of the Waco Economic Forum
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08.08.2002: President's Pledge to America's Seniors: Full Medicare Coverage for Preventative Embalming & Cremation
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08.04.2002: President Bush Awards Posthumous Blue Ribbon of Integrity to Richard Milhous Nixon
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07.31.2002: Memorandum From the First Lady Regarding Preparations for the Annual Bush Family Month-Long Summer Holiday
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07.26.2002: President Bush Calls on Congress to Appropriate Funds for AIDS-Proof Toilet Research
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07.23.2002: Attorney General John Ashcroft to Aspiring Civilian Spies: "Fill Out This Anonymous Tip Form!"
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07.21.2002: President Bush Calls for Greater Leniency in Sentencing for Florida's Cubo-Rican Drug Gangs
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07.18.2002: Vice President Cheney's Remarks to Newly Bankrupted Stockholders of the Halliburton Corporation
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07.17.2002: President Bush Releases Complete List of Official Nicknames for American and World Leaders
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07.13.2002: Innately Sensitive to Corporate Abuses, President Bush Lends Support to Embattled Negro Entertainer
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07.08.2002: President Issues New Guidelines for Corporate Ethics & Responsibility to His Aryan Wall Street Brethren
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07.04.2002: President's Cautionary July 4th Address to Democrats, Liberals, and Other Enemies of the State
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07.02.2002: President Urges All True Patriots to Sign Petition to Revoke Tom Cruise's American Citizenship
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06.30.2002: Governing Board of Presidential Prayer Squad Issues Emergency Green Card to Jesus Christ
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06.27.2002: Formal Statement by President Bush Expressing His Eternal Support for the Pledges of Allegiance
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06.25.2002: Comprehensive Terrorist Reading List Released - Citizens Are Advised to Report All Offending Readers to the FBI
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06.23.2002: President Outlines Federal Health & Fitness Initiative to Attendees of the Annual Weight Watchers National Convention
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06.20.2002: President Bush Responds to Misguided Supreme Court Ruling Barring the Execution of Retards
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06.17.2002: Remarks by the President Regarding Widespread Speculation Over the True Identity of "Deep Throat"
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06.13.2002: Secretary Fleischer Discloses Full Details of GAO Report on White House Vandalism by Outgoing Clinton Staffers
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06.11.2002: President's Statement Decrying Democratic Hate Crime Legislation as Blatant Discrimination Against God-Fearing Klansmen
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06.09.2002: Statement by the President on Future Homeland Securitizing and the Reorganizationing of the Intelligenciary
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06.06.2002: Attorney General Ashcroft Announces New Hospitality Measures for Arabiac Immigrants & Tourists
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06.04.2002: President's Remarks to England on the Occasion of Queen Elizabeth II's Golden Jubilee Celebration
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06.01.2002: Commencement Address by the President to Graduating Brothers of the Delta Kappa Epsilon Fraternal Organization
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05.30.2002: Remarks by the President Regarding Escalating Tensions Between India and Pakistan in the Dispute Over Kashmir
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05.28.2002: President Bush Recounts Details of Private Audience With His So-Called Holiness Pope John Paul II
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05.24.2002: President Bush Places United States on Red Alert From Paris Hotel
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05.21.2002: President's Statement on Medicare Reform, as Delivered to Residents of the Hemlock Farms Discount Eldercare Facility
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05.17.2002: President Responds to Terror Report Furor: "Bill Clinton Was Also Warned. Plus, He Porked that Fat Jewish Intern"
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05.16.2002: Remarks by Mrs. Bush Announcing the Creation of the First Lady's Youth Promiscuity Task Force
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05.13.2002: Statement by the President Regarding Democrat Jimmy Carter's Conversion to Communism
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05.10.2002: Remarks by the President to Log Cabin Republicans at Their Weekly Interstate 95 Rest Area Gathering
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05.08.2002: President Issues Appeal for Continued Public Apathy Towards Boring, Complicated Details of Enron Criminal Debacle
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05.05.2002: President Bush Decries Marring of White House T-Ball Season Opener by Repeated Girlish Strikeouts
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05.03.2002: Public Announcement Clarifying Ongoing Development of the President's Israel Policy
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05.01.2002: President Promotes Compassionate Conservatism to Poor, Colored, Crack-Addicted Death Row Inmates
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04.29.2002: Press Briefing by the President Celebrating the Triumph of French Democracy
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04.26.2002: Remarks by the President Regarding His Private Meetings with Saudi Arabiac Crown Prince Abdullah
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04.24.2002: Bush Administration Staffers Offer Fond Farewell Wishes to Senior Advisor Karen Hughes
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04.22.2002: President's Earth Day Remarks to Nevada Toddlers at the Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Facility
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04.19.2002: President Outlines Next Steps in Sidestepping Legislation Banning Alaska Oil Exploration
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04.17.2002: President Bush Calls on World's Arabiacs to Abstain From Blowing Themselves into Dog Food
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04.14.2002: President Puts U.S. Catholics on Notice: "Either You Are With Us, or You Are With the Child Molesters"
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04.12.2002: Former Second Lady Marilyn Quayle Declares Jihad Against "Pap Smear" Sex Ritual
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04.10.2002: President Announces New Sentencing Guidelines for Nationalized Capital Punishment
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04.08.2002: Congressman DeLay Introduces Federal Legislation Mandating Salvation of All Americans
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04.03.2002: President Bush Unveils Bold New Blueprint for Peace and Happiness in the Middle East
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03.31.2002: Declaring Egg Roll Era "Over," President Proudly Introduces New Easter Activity for Children
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03.28.2002: President to NRA's Heston: "I Shall Forever Pine for Your Tender Financial Embrace"
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03.27.2002: President Bush Offers Warm Wedding Day Congratulations to the Shell-Pennzoil Family
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03.25.2002: In Farewell Address, President Reassures Latin Americans "Ogethertay, Eway Allshay Overcomeway"
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03.22.2002: President to U.S. Youth: Marriage Need Not Wait Until Teen Bacne Subsides
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03.21.2002: Celebrate America's Triumph Over Evil With Your Very Own Victory Trophy!
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03.19.2002: Remarks by President Bush at Formal Dedication of Top-Secret Shadow White House
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03.17.2002: President to RNC: "Tipper Gore's Widely Rumored Lesbianism Would Not Have Been a Campaign Issue"
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03.15.2002: Senator Lott Bravely Thwarts Environmentalist Plot to Murder America's Children
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03.13.2002: President Delivers Incontrovertible Denunciation of Democratic Fairy Tale of Evolution
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03.11.2002: Newly Declassified Recordings Reveal Jimmy Carter's Shocking West Wing Sexcapades
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03.07.2002: President Declares War on Masturbation - "Operation Infinite Purity" is Cleared for Takeoff
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03.04.2002: President Assures Voters: Shadow Rulers Bred Exclusively From Blue-Ribbon Conservative Genetics
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03.01.2002: Chastened Press Secretary Fleischer Submits to Punitive Presidential Baptism
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02.28.2002: Cheney to GAO: "Consenting Adult CEO's are Entitled to Privacy in Their Own Boardrooms"
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02.26.2002: President Bush Identifies and Emphatically Denounces "Axis of Homeland Evil"
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02.23.2002: President Bush Recounts Myriad Lessons and Highlights of His Oriental Tour
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02.21.2002: Vice President Cheney to Jay Leno: "Yours Is a Sublimely Glorious Brand of Anilingus"
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02.19.2002: President Appoints Family Planning Ambassador to People's Republic of China
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02.18.2002: BELTWAY BUZZ: The President on Campaign Finance and "Operation Baby Come Back"
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02.15.2002: President Announces Compassionate New Weapon In War on Drugs: The Black Teen Gulag
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02.13.2002: President Shares Valentines Day Ruminations on the Righteousness of the Missionary Position
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02.12.2002: President Bush Announces Aggressive Plan for Privatization of Olympic Games
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02.08.2002: Gov. Ridge: "Patriotic Tattooing Has Commenced. All Citizens Are to Report to the Nearest Bankrupt K-Mart"
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02.07.2002: President Bush's Remarks to Attendees of the 50th Annual National Prayer Breakfast
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02.06.2002: Remarks by First Lady Laura Bush During Address to Wives at Fort Bragg, North Carolina
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02.06.2002: BELTWAY BUZZ: Pat Buchanan's Genius and "Bridget Jones' Botched Abortion"!
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02.05.2002: President George W. Bush Delivers a Very Special Message to America's Welfare Fetuses
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02.03.2002: A Presidential Proclamation on the Importance of Thick-Necked Men in Spandex Grappling Over Balls
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02.01.2002: President to Christian Truckers: "Let the Rivers Flow Red With the Blood of the Evil Ones"
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01.31.2002: President Wishes Janet Reno a Speedy Recovery from Hardcore Narcotics Addiction
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01.29.2002: President Delivers Annual State of the Union Address to United States Congress
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01.29.2002: Attorney General: "America Must Cease to be a Lurid Statuary of Deviant Sex"
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01.28.2002: First Lady Mrs. George W. Bush ("Laura") Delivers Remarks to the United States Senate
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01.25.2002: President Announces Faith-Based Economics: "Erasing the Stain of the Clinton Surplus"
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01.25.2002: BELTWAY BUZZ: The G.O.P. Hunks of Vanity Fair, Anne Richards & The Myth of Enron
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01.24.2002: Outraged President: First Mother-in-Law Was Cruelly Pleasured in Enron Affair
|
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01.21.2002: "After Dr. King" - Mrs. Cheney Fingers New Role Models for Black America
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01.17.2002: President: California Democrat Will Face Death Penalty in Civilian Courts
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01.17.2002: BELTWAY BUZZ: The Real Skinny on Democrat Hooker-Killer Ted Kennedy
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01.15.2002: Fleischer: Domestic Violence Rumors are "Patently Unsubstantiated"
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01.11.2002: President: "I Did Not Have Improper Relations With That Woman: Miss Enron"
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01.10.2002: BELTWAY BUZZ: Democrats Torpedo Bipartisanship, Jeffords Off the Wagon Again!
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01.08.2002: President: Congress Will Raise Taxes "Over My Dead Mexican Pool Boy"
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01.06.2002: President Announces Innovative Program to Feed America's Needy
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01.04.2002: Office of Homeland Security Launches Foreign Car Buyer Database
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01.01.2002: Remarks by the President on His Resolution for a Clean & Sober 2002
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White House Information:
