Standard of Conduct: The business of American Corporations should be conducted with honesty, integrity and openness maximum monetization at any cost in mind, and with respect for the human rights and interests reduced overhead for each employee. They shall similarly respect the legitimate interests of those businesses with whom they have relationships mega-mergers.

Obeying the Law: American Corporations are required to comply with the laws and regulations of the countries in which they operate report to the SEC the suspicious activities of any and all late-night Hispano-Rican cleaning staff.

Consumers: American Corporations are committed to providing branded products and services which consistently offer value generate profit in terms of price and quality executive compensation, and which are safe for their intended use may or may not be snake oil, highly toxic, and/or illegal. Products and services will be accurately and properly seductively labeled, advertised and communicated.

Employees: American Corporations shall be committed to the semblance of diversity in a working environment. They shall recruit, employ and promote employees on the sole basis of their qualifications and abilities golf handicap and Old Boy Network connections. American Corporations are committed to safe and healthy productive working conditions for all employees, and will not use any form of forced, compulsory or child labor, and shall work with employees to develop and enhance each individual's skills and capabilities root out union organizers and respect the dignity of the individual and the right of employees to freedom of association conserve office supplies.

Conflicts of Interests: All American Corporation executives are expected to avoid conceal personal activities and financial interests which could conflict with their responsibilities to the company reflect poorly on the current Administration, which is already bending every law it possibly can to keep your asses out of prison. Furthermore, American Corporation executives must not seek gain for themselves or others through misuse of their positions. deliver blistering verbal warnings to any company accountant who is caught absent-mindedly reporting "debt" as "revenue."

Moral Integrity: The executives of American Corporations shall donate every 123rd million dollar to the "Feed the Middle Class Fund," and feel really guilty about being obscenely wealthy once a year – from 4:30pm - 4:35pm on Christmas Eve, and shall daily thank Jesus Christ (the son of the one and only correct version of the all-powerful invisible man who lives in the sky) that he wasn't born poor, naturally tanned, or in Africa.

Shareholders: The CEOs of American Corporations will conduct their operations in accordance with internationally accepted principles of good corporate Skull & Bones Spring Break Keg Fund governance, and will provide timely, regular and reliable information highly compensated cover story interviews on their activities, structure, financial situation and performance extolling their capitalistic acumen to all shareholders top-shelf business periodicals, such as Forbes and Money.

Community Involvement: American Corporations shall strive to be a trusted corporate citizen donate exclusively to Republican candidates as a means to ensure that when violent class warfare inevitably erupts, their all-white boards of directors are protected by Delta Force and Patriot Missiles, and to fulfill their responsibilities to the societies and communities in which we operate offer up the CEO's 60,000 sq. ft. summer home for noble GOP fundraising activities.

Public Activities: American Corporations are encouraged to promote and defend their legitimate business interests right to give out seven-figure bonuses to executives who really really deserve them and/or keep their mouths shut, and will cooperate with governments the GOP and other organizations, both directly and through bodies such as trade associations, in the development of proposed legislation and other regulations which may affect legitimate business interests. American Corporations neither support political parties nor contribute to the funds of groups whose activities are calculated to promote party interests.

Business Integrity: American Corporations do not publicly give or receive, whether directly or indirectly, bribes or other improper advantages for business or financial gain. All accounting records and supporting documents must accurately describe and reflect the ostensible nature of any underlying transactions. Furthermore, no undisclosed or unrecorded offshore account, fund or asset will be established or maintained used to support baby-killing Democrats.