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12.31.2003: President Sends New Years Eve E-mail Best Wishes to First Brother Neil Bush: Family Values Poster Child and Pillar of Securities Trading Scrupulousness
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12.29.2003: President's Statement Urging Resistance to Mass Homicidal Panic Over the "Mad Cow" Terror Perpetrated Against America by Oprah-Watching Canadiacs
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12.25.2003: The Official 2003 White House Christmas Card: Festively Patriotic Holiday Greetings from President George W. Bush and First Lady Laura Welch Bush
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12.22.2003: President's Remarks to Assembled Jewfolk Graciously Tolerating Their Rude Refusal to Celebrate Christ's Birth After Having Gone and Murdered Him
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12.21.2003: Barney Bush, Belovedly Mischievous First Scottish Terrier, Answers Your Questions on a Very Special Holiday "Ask the White House"
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12.17.2003: Statement by the Late Senator Strom Thurmond Defending His Indiscriminately Voracious Fondness for South Carolina Slave Koochie
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12.14.2003: MISSION ACCOMPLISHEDER! The World Sleeps Safely Tonight Knowing a Delirious, Nappy Hairball Living in a Hole is Finally in Republican Custody
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12.10.2003: Statement by the Vice President Announcing Punitive Reawarding of Lucrative Pentagon Contracts from Tainted "Halliburton" to Ethically Spotless "KBR"
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12.05.2003: President Bush Congratulates NASCAR Champ Cletus Dickey on His Stunning Victory in That Driving Around in Circles Thing the Yachtless Rabble Seem to Care About
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12.01.2003: Commemorating World AIDS Day: President Bush's Compassionately Conservative Statement Urging Earth's HIV-Positive Millions to Please Quit Being So Totally Gay
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11.27.2003: President's Surprise Thanksgiving Remarks to Troops During His Brave, 150-Minute, After-Dark Jaunt to the Maximum-Security Heart of the "Mission Accomplished" Zone
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11.25.2003: Overhauling Medicare: President Applauds Congress for Courageously Entrusting Grampa's Confused Twilight Years to America's Benevolent Cancer Profiteers
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11.21.2003: President Bush Concludes Historic United Kingdom State Visit With Stirring Farewell Address to Jubilant Multitudes of Adoring Security Personnel
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11.20.2003: Karl Rove, Senior Domestic Policy Advisor to President George W. Bush, Answers Questions From the Web Surfing Public on "Ask the White House"
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11.18.2003: The Massachusetts Gay Marriage Ruling: Vice President Cheney's Statement Denouncing Homocrat Attempts to Infiltrate the Sacred Institutions of Divorce and Adultery
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11.14.2003: President's Mega-Profound Foreign Policy Epiphany: "In This Age of Liberty, Even Earth's Most Inferior Deserve the FREEDOM® to Choose Us Over Oblivion"
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11.11.2003: President's Veterans Day Address to Retired Military Shrapnel Sponges Celebrating the Impending Abolishment of Girly-Man Benefits Programs
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11.10.2003: President Bush Explains the Economic Miracles of Jobless Recovery and Endless Deficit Spending to Assembled Photo-Friendly Blue Collar Working Folk
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11.06.2003: President Signs "Partial Birth" Abortion Ban, Declaring "Never Again Shall Uppity Snatches Thwart God's Will to Create Severely Deformed Fetuses in His Image!"
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11.04.2003: Mrs. Bush's 57th Birthday Celebration: Complete Text of President Bush's Heartfelt Birthday Poem to America's Greatest-Ever First Lady
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10.31.2003: Pastor Deacon Fred, United States Secretary of Faith-Based Living, Answers Reader Questions About Patriotic Worship on "Ask the White House"
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10.27.2003: Protection from Pornography Week: President's Pledge to Aggressively Shield America from the Disgusting Spectacle of Human Nature
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10.24.2003: New Funeral Protocols for Protecting Iraq Combat Fatalities From Photographers, Tacky Military Ceremonies, and Canned Presidential Eulogies
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10.20.2003: Lt. General William Boykin's Formal Press Q&A to Quell Fears Of Military Insensitivity to the Satanic Non-Faith of the Global Turbanista Menace
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10.16.2003: Welcoming Red China's 40-Year-Late Entry to the Space Age, President Bush Issues Stern Demand That Orientals Never Trespass on America's Moon
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10.15.2003: Remarks by House Majority Leader Tom DeLay at White House Gala Celebrating the Texas Redistricting Coup Over Tyrannical Negro-Rican Trash
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10.12.2003: Rev. Pat Robertson, Pillar of Patriotic Christian Love, Unveils Godly Seven-Point Plan to Save America Through Governmental Annihilation
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10.08.2003: President Bush Welcomes Governor-Elect Arnold Schwarzenegger: The Fresh New Face of Baby-Killing, Homo-Loving, Gun-Control, Group Sex Republicanism
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10.06.2003: U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld Basks in the Adulation of a Unanimously Adoring Populace on "Ask the White House"
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10.02.2003: President Bush Enlists Panel of Prominent Experts to Counter Preposterous Liberal Charges that Rush Limbaugh is Prejudiced Against Coloreds
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09.28.2003: Statement by Karl Rove Emphatically Not Commenting on Alleged Political Motivations for Maliciously Endangering the Wife of That Bastard Turncoat Joseph Wilson
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09.24.2003: Not Begging For Help in the Non-Quagmire of Iraq: Text of President's Steamy Hot Sex Slave Speech to United Nations General Assembly
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09.21.2003: President Bush's Even-Tempered Response to Egregiously Slanderous Iraq Criticism from Senator Ted "Hooker Murdering Drunk" Kennedy
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09.17.2003: White House Public Walking Tours Resume After 2-Year, Terror-Induced Hiatus: Interested Tourists May Apply Now For Security Clearance
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09.15.2003: Attorney General John Ashcroft Dispels Mounting Liberal Hysteria Over the USA Patriot Act on "Ask the White House"
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09.10.2003: Vice President Richard Cheney's Remarks at the Formal Unveiling of Danforth J. Quayle's Capitol Rotunda Marble Bust
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09.07.2003: President's Address to the Nation: An Update on That Terror Stuff That Makes a Hemorrhaging Treasury and Pandemic Unemployment Seem Totally Snoresville
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09.04.2003: Honoring Rev. Paul Hill: President and Governor Bush Offer Distraught Prayers of Post-Mortem Love to Righteous Butcher of Baby-Killing Trash
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09.02.2003: Summer Concluded, President Bush Revels in America's Unequivocal Victory Over Tyranny and Pandemonium in the New & Improved Iraq
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08.03.2003: The 3rd Annual Crawford Retreat: President's Statement Kicking Off His Month-Long Fund-Raising Fiesta & Buckaroo Photo-Op Hoedown
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07.28.2003: President's Proclamation to Retroactively Eradicate Big Government Curtailment of Executive Flag Desecration & Defilement Privileges
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07.20.2003: Repudiating the Myth of Nigergate: President's Statement Reassuring Americans He Would Never Mislead Them About Hot & Sloppy Oval Office Hummers
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07.13.2003: The 2003 Africa Trip: Radio Address by the President Recapping Highlights of His Brave Campaign Safari to the Dark Continent
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07.07.2003: President Urges Senate Commerce Committee to Uphold FCC Greenlight to Spawn a Fair & Balanced Frankenstein Media Master Race
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07.01.2003: First Lady of the United States Mrs. George W. Bush ("Laura") Answers Your Questions About Reading on "Ask the White House"
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06.27.2003: STROM THURMOND MURDERED BY SHOCK OF SUPREME COURT INTEGRATIONIST SODOMY RULING: President Decries Judicial Slaying of Heroic Senator
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06.25.2003: President to Congress: We Must Respect Our Taxpayer-Financed Evangelicals' Aversion to Intermingling With Anti-Christ Faggot Garbage
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06.23.2003: US Department of Faith Action Alert: The Make-Believe World of Harry Potter Is Driving Children to the Edge of Insanity!
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06.21.2003: Bidding Farewell to Ari Fleischer, President Bush Appoints Scott McClellan as New Minister of Corporate Media Pacification
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06.17.2003: Pablo Gonzalez Escapa, Chief White House Gardener and Botanist, Answers Your Questions on "Ask the White House"
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06.13.2003: President Releases Newly Recovered Warzone Documents Offering Incontrovertible Proof of Iraqi Acquisition of Weapons of Mass Destruction
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06.09.2003: Remarks by First Lady Laura Bush to The Washington Wives Book Club Congratulating Hillary Rodham Clinton on the Publication of Her Memoirs
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06.06.2003: Tom Ridge, Secretary of the United States Department of Homeland Security, Answers Your Questions on "Ask the White House"
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06.04.2003: President Bush Proudly Unveils Inspired "Road Map to Middle Eastern Peace" for Squabbling, Don't-Know-They're-Beat Allahovah Spazzmos
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06.01.2003: In Overture of Boundless Magnanimity, President Bush Invites Former G8 Allies to Assist in Provoking the Wrath of Bona Fide Nukular States
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05.29.2003: President Welcomes Esteemed Yale Classmates to White House South Lawn for Fun-Filled Day of Orgiastic Backslapping, WASP Dominance, and Non-Faggy Elephant Walks
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05.28.2003: Dr. Condoleezza Rice, Assistant to the President for National Security Affairs, Answers Your Questions on "Ask the White House"
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05.25.2003: President's Memorial Day Statement Honoring America's GI Joe Sixpacks Who Couldn't Cough up Enough Cashola to Evade Combat Duty and Not Get Touched by an Angel of Death
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05.22.2003: Presenting the Occupied Iraq Bill of Rights: President Bush Ushers in Blissful Era of Submissive Arabiac Democracy and Eternal Martial Law
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05.19.2003: Attorney General Ashcroft's Comments Reaffirming the GOP's Commitment to Federalism – So Long as States Keep Their Goddamned Place and Toe the Fucking Line
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05.16.2003: Address by America's Own Queen Mother, Barbara Pierce Bush, to Concerned Women for America Announcing National Clitoridectomy Day
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05.14.2003: Ruling the New Iraq: America's Long-Term Commitment to Ensuring the Triumph of Compassionate Imperialism Over the Perverted Cult of Muslamiac Self-Determination
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05.12.2003: Burt Johnson, United States Secret Service Director of Presidential Security, Answers Your Questions on "Ask the White House"
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05.10.2003: President Briefly Empathizes With Exploding Ranks of Poor & Unemployed on 9th Hole of the DKE Millionaire Tax Cut Tournament And Reunion Fish Fry Classic
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05.06.2003: Safeguarding America's Virtuousness: President Bush's Statement Announcing the Appointment of William J. Bennett as United States Slots Czar
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05.04.2003: President Bush's Western White House Statement Praising Australian Prime Minister John Howard for His Steadfast, Iron-Willed Submissiveness
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05.02.2003: Remembering Joe McCarthy: President Bush Honors America's Greatest Senator and Patriot on the 46th Anniversary of His Untimely Death
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05.01.2003: The USS Abraham Lincoln Speech: President's Remarks Celebrating the Convergence of Loyalty Day, Prayer Day, Law Day, and Whoopin' Allah's Sorry Ass Day
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04.30.2003: Defending the Sanctity of Corporate Free Speech: President Bush's Statement Denouncing the Cultural Tyranny of the W.H.O. Tobacco Control Treaty
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04.27.2003: The War in Iraq Concluded, President Bush Proudly Honors the First-Ever Recipients of the "Civilian Warmonger Medal of Armchair Valor"
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04.24.2003: Senator Rick Santorum and President Bush Convene to Dispel the Outrageous Liberal Fiction of GOP Bigotry Towards Fudge-Packing Homo Devils
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04.22.2003: A Very Special Earth Day "Ask the White House," in Which EPA Administrator Christie Whitman Endures Virtual Exposure to Bona Fide Enviro-Mentals
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04.21.2003: Formal Statement by the President Responding to Recent Condemnation of Cluster Bombs by Sir Paul "Fruity-Fogey Washed-Up Limey Vegan Zombie" McCartney
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04.18.2003: White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card Hosts Inaugural Session of "Ask the White House" - An All-New, Feel-Good, Totally Spontaneous Facsimile of Legitimate Interactivity
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04.16.2003: President Offers Advance Congratulations to Soon-To-Be-Former Sister-in-Law Sharon Bush on Deciding to Keep Her Festering Crap-Trap Shut if She Wants to Live to See Christmas
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04.13.2003: IMPORTANT 2002 TAX ANNOUNCEMENT: United States Department of Faith Announces President Bush's Classification of First Trimester Fetuses as Tax-Deductible Dependents
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04.10.2003: Baghdad Falls: President Bush Extends a Heartfelt Radio Olive Branch to Iraq's Proud Population of Newly-Liberated, Soon-to-be-Christian, Petroleum-Pumpin' Eunuchs
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04.09.2003: President's Statement Announcing Executive Order #9066-B: Mandating the Prompt Internment of All Suspected Carriers of SARS: Sexfiend Asian Reckoning Syndrome
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04.08.2003: Reaffirming the Worthlessness of World Opinion: Text of the President's Mega-Important, Magically Delicious Statement From the Northern Ireland Summitshow
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04.06.2003: In Weekly Radio Address, President Advises Distraught Families of American POWs & MIAs to Quit Whining and Save Their Breath for a Boatload of Jesus-Begging Prayers
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04.03.2003: Complete Transcript of the President's 100% Sincere Pep Rally Remarks, as Delivered to the Working Class Marine Martyrs of Camp Lejeune, NC
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04.01.2003: April is National Domestic Child Abuse Prevention Month: A Proclamation on the Political Expediency of Espousing Respect for Non-Iraqi Youthfulness
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03.30.2003: Transcript of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld's Weekly Press Gaggle With Assembled FOX Newspeak Information Operatives
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03.29.2003: "THE FACES OF FREEDOM!" - A Spin-Free, Fair & Balanced Photo Refutation of Preposterous Liberal Media Reports of Iraqi Anti-Americanism
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03.27.2003: President's Remarks to Traitorous Peacemonger Democrats: "Last Call to Hop on Board the Bloodwagon! Bury Your Principles in Red-Hot, Shockin' Awesome War Porn!"
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03.26.2003: President's Statement Reminding Uppity Iraqasaurs to Lose the Inferior Arabiac Pride, Smile Pretty for the Cameras, and Open Wide the Doors to Christian JDAMs of Freedom
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03.24.2003: President Bush Reassures Jittery Nation: "The War Show Will Go On. So Nuke Up Some Cheez Whiz, Kick Back & Enjoy the Bloodletting!"
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03.23.2003: Transcript of the Presidential Prayer Team's Camp David Appeal to Jesus Requesting Swift & Effortless Annihilation of the Muslamian Hordes
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03.20.2003: Complete Text of President Bush's Orgasmic Rebel Yell Heralding the Launch of Operation Godless Iraqazoid Smackdown
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03.17.2003: President's Televised Address Granting Saddam Hussein 48 Hours to Stop Mistaking This George Bush For That Other Sissypants Chicken Quitter
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03.16.2003: St. Patrick's Day Shamrock Ceremony at the White House: President Bush's Statement Welcoming Irelandian Prime Minister Bertie O'Hern
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03.14.2003: President's Remarks Offering Symbolic High Fives to Senate Republicans on the Recent Ban of Sentient Womb Booger Liquefaction
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03.13.2003: Vice President Cheney Unveils Noble, Honorable and Completely Non-Greed-Inspired Twelve-Step Recovery Plan for the Future Former Nation of Iraqaeda
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03.11.2003: President Responds to Treasonous Criticism from One-Term Has-Been Who'd Better Keep His Geriatric Cakehole Shut if He Knows What's Good for Father's Day
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03.09.2003: "Pacifism: Lurid Centerpiece of the Homosexual Agenda:" Full Text of President's Keynote Address to Northrop Grumman Executive Retreat
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03.06.2003: Complete Text of President Bush's Anti-Terror Press Conference Detailing Terror-Preventing War Against Terrifying Terrorists of Terror
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03.03.2003: Secretary Fleischer Delivers Forceful Rebuttal to Charges of Senselessly Dooming Innocent American GI's Purely for Craven Political Gain
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03.01.2003: Secretaries Rumsfeld & Wolfowitz Explain Moral Necessity of Nation Bombing Building to Assembled Limp-Wristed Press Nancys
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02.27.2003: President Announces Prompt End to Confirmation Filibuster of Hispano-Rican Judicial Nominee Poncho Estrada
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02.25.2003: Statement by Press Secretary Fleischer Introducing Revised Federal France-Bashing Standards & Guidelines
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02.23.2003: President Bush Graciously Offers Pretty Boy Liberal Traitor George Clooney Front Row Tickets to the Baghdad Shrapnel Orchestra
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02.20.2003: Vice President Cheney Issues a Punctilious "Wise Guy, Eh? Why I Oughta!" Letter to Nefarious WHITEHOUSE.ORG Terror Portal!
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02.17.2003: WHITE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE: Tens of Dozens of Bush Supporters Take to the Streets to Defend President's War Plans
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02.15.2003: Statement by the President Stooping to Address Global Anti-Freedom Traitors and Their Girlish 60's Peace Chants
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02.13.2003: President's Statement Urging Cessation of Public Hysteria in the Face of Certain Annihilation by Nuke Pox
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02.12.2003: President's Message to Muslamoids Celebrating That Giant Mecca Christmas-Wannabe Toga Party Thing of Theirs
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02.11.2003: President Welcomes Boy Scouts of America Delegation to Review Annual Advancements in Paramilitary Faggotry Repression
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02.09.2003: February is National Negro Tolerance Month: A Presidential Proclamation on the Changeability of Colored Folks
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02.06.2003: Secretary Rumsfeld Releases Final, Ironclad Proof of Iraq's Obstinate Yearning for Napalm Colonics of Freedom
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02.04.2003: President Bush Releases Declassified Details of the United States Government's Budget for Fiscal Year 2004
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02.01.2003: President Bush Praises Prime Minister Blair's Praises of President Bush's Praises of Prime Minister Blair to Assembled Network Photographers
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01.28.2003: The 2003 State of the Union Address: Complete Transcript of President Bush's Speech to Congress and the Nation
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01.27.2003: President Bush Introduces Express Online Confirmation System for Federal Judiciary Nominees
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01.25.2003: President Bush Launches White House Office of Global Communications & Foreigner Reeducation
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01.22.2003: President Marks 30-Year Anniversary of Legalized Fetus Murder With Introduction of Informative "Right for Life" Posters
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01.21.2003: President Reassures U.S.: "Our Righteous Slaughter of Iraqi Babies Shall Not be Thwarted by Fraidy Cat Euro-Faggots!"
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01.19.2003: President Delivers "National Sanctity of Human Life Day" Statement to Assembled Worthless, America-Hating Protesters
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01.16.2003: President Denounces Michigan Admissions Quotas: "Deserving Legacy 'C' Students Are Being Displaced by Uppity Negro Trash!"
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01.14.2003: "How Does Our Christian Nation Benefit by Defending Hell-Bound Jews?" - An Important Sermon From the Secretary of Faith-Based Governance
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01.12.2003: President Bush Unveils Homeland Security Online Registration for Non-Citizen Arab & Muslim Males
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01.08.2003: President Bush's 2003 Economic Plan to Aggressively Defend and Strengthen Affluent America
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01.06.2003: President Bush Condemns Escalating South Korean Protests of America and James Bond
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01.03.2003: President Bush's Remarks on U.S. Military Dominance to the Assembled Troops of Fort Hood, Texas
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01.02.2003: President Bush Expresses Regret to People of Canada Over Amphetamine-Fueled Friendly Fire Deaths
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01.01.2003: Complete Text of President Bush's Inspiring 2003 New Years Day Message of Hope & Patriotism
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White House Information:
