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THE PRESIDENT: Good afternoon. This week has seen a lots of hoopla over some testimony
by my lead Iraqi weapons finder-outer, Mr. David Kay. He says that despite what I promised the
world, that there are no WMD's over there. Now if that's true, then there are only a few
conclusions folks can make: either I'm a liar, or an incompetent moron, or a puppet controlled by
pencil-pushing bureaucrats with God complexes. Obviously, none
of these are acceptible. That's why I've taken the liberty of correcting Mr. Kay's testimony,
and am releasing it here today. I encourage the news media to embrace and disseminate it with all
due unquestioning haste. Thank you.
Oh, and by the way... Kay, if you're listening – you may have "resigned," but your little spaghetti
pecker is also FIRED! So SUCK BUNG, DORKO!
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