FIRST TWINS 25th BIRTHDAY: Vacation Update From Family Values Poster Children Jenna and The Other One

Subject: GREETZ FROM ARJINTEENA!!!
From: Jenna (kegho4evvar@hotmail.com)
To: Mom (picklesb@crawfordnet.com)
Sent: Tuesday, November 28, 2006 4:12 AM

WHASSUP MOMMASITA??? How r u doing? Me & Bar Jr. R having awsum time up here 4 r birthday!!! When u said arginteena was in "south america" I wuz expecting it 2 B filled w. all those creepy bible freakerz that dad alwayz laffs about playing 4 dumb suckerz - but its soooo not! its like totally packed w. HOT dudez who luv 2 party harty & have PHAT connectionz 4 doobage & booger suger!!

I no u sed I wuz sposed 2 rite evry day but me & bar jr. wuz WAY jetlagd & then got mad shitfaced 4 like a week. Its sooo weird how time flyz when U R watching ur hair spin around BACKWERDS in the toilet w. barf chunx. LOL!!!

BTW U would b sooo proud of me and Bar Jr. & how much local culchur stuff we do here in bwaynos aries. We already wuz @ planet hollywood like 6 timez each & 2morrow we r going 2 holiday inn becuz we herd therez a starbux in the lobby and all the coffee up hear is teh total SUXXXOR!

OMG we went 2 a football game but when we got there I wuz all like WTF??? Why r all those wussies palying kickball instead of bashing headz??? Well it turned out 2 B stoopit socker! UGH! After we wuz wanting REAL sportz so we went to r 5-star hotel & playd NEKKID touch football in the hall w/ sum HUNG guyz in HOT speedo banana hammox.

Anyhoo the reason im writing is 2 tell u that the $ down here is sooo mad strong, that both r visa platnum cards r maxed out again& u need 2 pay them 4 us OK? Thx mom!!!

L8R!!

- Jenna

PS - Bar jr. got her purse stoled when she wuz making out w some skeev, but plz dont worry bcuz the secret svc thnx they erased the cell fone b4 any1 got dad's nuke codes off there.